because crying in bed would be so much better. she would sit with me and tell me that she loves me. she would pray over me and then this whole stupid blood pressure, racey heart, out of whack thing wouldnt feel like such a fucking mess right now.
I’m still without computer at home (except the iphone which is like a little tiny omg so cute computer). this will hopefully be resolved next week.
the car breaking down that happened monday night came back with TERRIBLE news today. there is nothing I can do about it right now so I am going to put it out of my head like a teen pregnancy and pretend it doesn’t exist until it’s time to give birth at prom, or my mechanic tells me to come tow the fucker if I’m not able to pay him to fix it.
I do probably have a job which I will start probably the week after next. the base pay is LESS than what I’m bringing in on unemployment and there is a name tag involved but it’s a job and I’m taking it.
I have cramps.
but I get to see davislove tonight so it can’t be all bad.