I don’t know if I told you that I was with my dad when he lost his cancer battle. sitting at his bedside, holding his hand & wishing it would be over for him while feeling terrible guilt for wishing that while missing him before he was even gone. it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever lived through. but I cannot imagine if it had been my life partner. my heart goes out to you. there is nothing appropriate to say at a time like this, everything I want to say seems so useless right now. just know we are all sending you love and hugs and we are here for you when and however you need us xo
why have you never asked people to fill your askhole?
because I’m afraid that once people ask questions, I’ll lose interest in answering them and then feel bad and avoid Tumblr so I’m not reminded that I didn’t answer all the questions. also, what if someone asks something that hurts my feelings and I have to decide whether to be a brave girl and answer it and put that person in their place or just delete it because who needs to put themselves through that kind of trauma and omg where is my xanax?
but, I mean, go ahead and ask. I’ll probably answer. eventually. like I finally did with that last one about lipstick.
I have a few. like 7 or 8 I think. don’t make me count. some have been postedhere already. some have been seen in person by some of you. each of them mark a point in my life or a person who changed me. only one of those is for a person still living and it is the one least likely to been seen by a stranger. unless they get really lucky.
What is your favorite lipstick? Have you ever done up your lips in roaring 20's style with ox-blood color? I did once, it was pretty sweet.
oh I do so love lipstick. I have more lipstick in every shade imaginable than any girl has the right to. I have gone through all sorts of phases. most of my lipsticks are MAC. I have for sure done the deep dark reds - especially in the early/mid 90s. the 90s in general were a decade of experimentation with my appearance. hair color, makeup, vinyl pants for fuck’s sake. but I guess that’s what your 20s are for? especially when you were pretty tame in your teens, considering it was the 80s. as a young girl, my first real lipsticks were drugstore bought and frosted pink. I love my reds. I adore a lovely pale shimmer. I went through a brown phase that I’m glad has passed because it really wasn’t very flattering.
You guys should be super thankful this Tumblr thing wasn’t around back when I was doing a lot of coke. Or that I don’t do it anymore. Whatever. I’d be posting a lot more. I had a lot of really important stuff to say. Really important.
it’s cool that we found each other on facebook - ok I found you. you accepted my friend request, we haven’t had any other interaction. and that’s fine, it’s just nice to know you’re there, right? but maybe you might want to consider a simple “hey how the hell are you what’s up?” before suggesting I become a fan of your band that I’ve never heard of.
this bed is not big enough for me and my laptop and all of my pillows and books and favorite blankets. the bed that I own, the bed that belongs to me, the bed in storage waiting for me to get on with my life already, that bed is big enough.
but sometimes, either bed seems too big for just me.