When Poeks and I visited PDX in June I knew we were going to meet a few imaginary friends but mostly our goal was to experience the city not as tourists. We talked and I had said I wanted to check out the different neighborhoods and get a feel for their vibes. Hanging out with people was something I was ok with doing later in the day or evening. But during the day, we rode the Max, buses, and walked around, watched people, and saw lots of funky things.
Then I was told we were going to meet Sokeri. “WHO?” was my first question. My second was, “What if she’s scary?” Antichrista told us she had met Sokeri and it was at a tweetup so she didn’t get a lot of time to really “know her” but assured me that Sokeri wasn’t scary. We met a bar restaurant and before Sokeri showed up, I asked “What if she smells like the outdoors?!” Mostly because I had seen lots of dreads, hemp necklaces, and didn’t know a thing about Sokeri.
The dinner was fun and we hung out for easily 2 hours if not more - afterwards my stomach hurt from laughing so much… and from June to now - we’ve become friends and she shows me the little things that make this city unique.
Oh, and she doesn’t smell like the outdoors and she’s not scary. Although I’m sure if you pissed her off she’d sock you.
it’s true. I don’t smell like the outdoors at all.
those pictures were almost too much for me to take in.
then the woman who posted them sent this:
I wanted to write this part in a private message. I’m really happy that you like the pictures. Photography has always been an important part of my life and I’ve always enjoyed sharing the photos with my friends. Its cool the way FB has made it even easier for photos to bring people together.
A few things i wanted to tell you about your mom and dad, what I remember. I didn’t really know Bob all that well. I was friends with Steve and David, and through them I met Karen. But your mother was my age, so young when she became pregnant and married Bob. Only 17. Since I was also 17 at the time, it seemed inconceivable to be getting married and having a baby! I was nowhere near ready for that and I knew it. But your mom didn’t hesitate for a minute in her decision. She was so much in love with Bob - and he with her. I have vivid memories of the log cabin, Lazy Acres, and of you as an infant. The more difficult times that followed, the ones I heard about at Bob’s memorial service, were not a reality in my mind. For me it’s like the whole family was frozen in time, just as they were when we parted company, when I moved to California, and as far as I was concerned nothing had changed up here in Oregon. I never saw Karen again. Not since she was as she looks in these pictures. Nor Bob. So in some ways I guess I’m lucky because they will always live like that in my memory - young, healthy and full of a future that couldn’t help but be bright for such bright and talented people.
Well Sarah, I’m sure that you miss your dad. He was way too young to go so soon! I’m sure he would not have chosen for his life to go the way it did and to be over so soon. And he would have wanted to share in your life, had he been able to.
My mom always said that it was the sensitive, gifted, intelligent, artistic people who have the hardest time with the harsh realities of life. Bob was certainly all of that in the extreme.
I hope it’s okay that I wrote about this to you. Some of the best times of my life were spent with the family. Looking at the photos again has really immersed me in those memories.
You have inherited your mother’s beauty, I see a bit of her in your profile pic!
Take care, T
her message made me cry. in many ways, my family is frozen in time like that for me too. so much easier to look at these photos and think of them like that than my own memories as a child or young adult. my dad was so special, I know that. I have a lot of regrets about my relationship with him, that I didn’t talk to him before he passed, that we didn’t spend more time together when I was young. it was not easy being his daughter, but I’ve never for a moment doubted that I was loved. my mom doesn’t talk about those days. I can understand, she had to move on and I know how sometimes even the best times of your youth can be hard to relive. so it’s through photos like these that I get a sense of who my parents were then, where I come from. she really was so young, too young, it blows my mind to think about those kids having me. it’s weird to be related to, and still feel so removed from those people. but the more I look at those photos, the more I feel connected. I see myself in my dad and aunt ronda and aunt karen. I remember that house they grew up in, the few holidays or summer days I spent there with my cousins. I came to dread visiting the house as I aged. but oh, what I would give to visit one more time.
and to hear from a stranger about the love my parents had helps heal a little bit of the hole in my heart.
Yes, I’m the same girl who posted just days ago about how broke I am. But my mom bought me a new mattress to replace the decade old one I’ve been “sleeping” on.
It smells funny, a little like peanut butter, but I’ve put my bedding on it anyway and I’m going to give it a test nap.
I feel like the princess and the pea, this one is so much taller than the old. And my fitted sheets actually fit now, they used to be too big for the skinny little slab of springs, bagging at the sides like a child wearing her mother’s frocks for dress up.
If I had the day off, I’d stay here until tomorrow.
a new mattress is being delivered in the morning. another gift from my mother. the one I sleep on now was purchased in 2002, it cost less than $200. as much as I love to sleep, I have not been enjoying sleeping on this mattress since I got it out of storage in June.
as soon as this new mattress is delivered? yes, I’m going right back to bed. I don’t have to be to work until 3.
I do not have the money for this month’s installment on my car insurance.
my mom keeps asking me if I need anything, do I need money for groceries etc but I just say, “no, I’m fine!” because I feel guilty for everything she already does for me. even though I know if I said, yeah, I need you to put like $80 in my checking account to get me by until my babysitting gig on Saturday, she totally would.
instead I take half a xanax and pray for the money to fall from the sky.
I really need to get a full time job that pays a real salary rather than this part time on commission thing. it is awful never knowing how much I’m making month to month.
just because you have the ability to express your thoughts...
doesn’t meant you should. sometimes, it’s ok to keep things to yourself. or maybe share with a mental health professional, rather than unleashing your poor spelling and grammar skills on the general public. or even your intended target. but way to prove yourself an ignorant, heartless shrew rather than make people find out for themselves the hard way.
Dear Maria ( The sad excuse of a mother of my so called “Step sisters”)
Let me just get done to business since I’m sure you are reading this ,since you have nothing better to do with your sorry ass life.
You make me laugh calling my mom because of things…
Crazy. I just stumbled upon this post. I don’t know you or the people you’re speaking about. At least, I don’t think I do. But, it’s a small world, so who knows.
What I do know is that the Internet is not a private place. So, while you’re welcome to voice your opinion, you’re also responsible for the repercussions of your opinions.
As for manners and having them, you might want to re-examine what those are and whether you truly possess them before you comment on the manners of others. Sometimes we’re only able to see what others lack when we ourselves lack that trait. This isn’t always the case, but in this instance, I feel like I might be hitting the proverbial nail on the head. (Manners aren’t always my strong suit, so I’m in familiar territory on this one.)
It’s typically best to address family issues in private, whenever possible. If that doesn’t work, then venting online might be an option, given that you understand it’s no different than taking out a billboard in every city in the world to express your sentiment and then owning that content like the ugliest pair of jeans in your closet.
If you feel good about that and can sleep at night, then more power to you. You are a wonderful human being who has all of her ducks in a row and should feel free to judge others at will. Get on with walking on that water!
I find that most people who are “tired of bullshit” are the people who cause the most bullshit in others’ lives.
two very very very busy days working retail. tomorrow I am hoping to have pie - my awesome cousin the cheesseuse (she’s a massage therapist AND a cheese clerk at new seasons) works at Immortal Pie on sundays. I mean, she’s awesome enough just as she is. but she serves cheese for a living, massages AND will dish me up some pie once a week. favorite cousin ever. aaaanyway, I am then hosting a few friends for dinner and watching of Grammys and red carpet bs. I’m gonna make this chicken thing. I’m very nervous cooking for these friends because they are AMAZING in the kitchen. one is a pastry chef by day and they both whip up dishes to die for while I’m very oh hey my mom taught me how to make this when I was 10. I don’t remember why I started typing this… anyway… uh… I’m tired. my feet are tired. my eyes are tired. my everything is tired. but I wanted to say hi. so… hi.
worked an extra 3 hours today (almost 10 total!). huge promo going on at work next 2 days so I get to be there at 8am tomorrow (yeah, I know, woe is me. but usually the earliest I have to arrive is 10 and an average shift is 5 hours). the money will be good but I’m tired. and I have hiccups. and I’ve only eaten a bowl of cereal and a granola bar today. but I’m too tired to eat. and it’s day before payday so I’m down to popcorn and cheese and juice. and my feet hurt, retail sucks like that. waaaaaah.
looking at a possible quick trip to LA in March to see my baby sister and grab some stuff of dad’s out of her storage, driving it back to portland via an overnight stop in SF. I’d like to make the trip as quick as possible (I have a ton of PTO but if I’m not at work, I lose sales which = lower commission check) but also don’t want to waste an opportunity to see at least a few people in each city while I’m there. just throwing that out there.
ps: if anyone wants to drive back to pdx with me (especially if they want to use their own car rather than me renting one) or if anyone has an extra ticket they want to donate for my flight to LA, that would be super bonus. SINGLE LINE PLEASE!!
W.E.B.I. = Welcome Electronic Brethren of the Internet
We’re very happy to announce that our spiritual and digital home base, teamyacht.com, is now new, live and in its seventh edition. Everything you could ever hope to know about YACHT, Jona Bechtolt, Claire L. Evans, and all associated people and ideas is now easily accessible and (we hope) intuitive to navigate. Some new things we’re particularly excited about:
One, we now have a web shop! YACHT has never sold anything on the Internet before. You can now purchase YACHT music, memorabilia, and, for the first time, our book, The Secret Teachings of the Mystery Lights: A Handbook for Overcoming Humanity and Becoming Your Own God. This is currently exclusive to the teamyacht web shop, due to popular demand.
Two, we now have a mailing list. If you give us your email address, we will infrequently email you interesting and well-designed messages of information about YACHT and YACHT’s doings.
Three, we now have a podcast! You can subscribe to Radio YACHT in iTunes or simply get our RSS feed. It’s real.
Four, you can now buy tickets to YACHT concerts right here on our website! Just go to the Events page to see your options. We want to see you in the flesh.